It’s Actually All Quite Amazeballs -or- I Was Feeling Very Emo Today (258)
Today was both amazeballs and horrible. All day long at work I was feeling really horrible; I mean sore throat, cough, sneezy, headache, stuffy nose/can’t breathe from the right nostril, etc. In addition to feeling like the poster child for horrible sinus problems, I stayed up way too late and was extremely tired all day aaaaand it didn’t seem like my boss was particularly talkative aaaaaand I was feeling like I was on the verge of delving into depression…again. Let me tell you, it’s really frustrating to be a perfectly (normal amount of) crazy, joyful, silly person one minute and feel like the saddest, most horrible and insane person ever!
So there I was, working and listening to worship music on Spotify when, all of a sudden, these thoughts just invade my brain. It’s like a sneak attack because I don’t even know where the heck they come from. I wasn’t even thinking anything remotely close to relationships and here come those thoughts, feeding on all my insecurities and making me feel like a monster. What’s interesting is that, this past Sunday, I was explaining to someone how I believe that Satan will use our thoughts to lie to us and get us to believe something contrary to God’s truth and then I get attacked like that out of left field.
So here I am at work, starting to feel worse and worse by the second and worrying that I might have to text Brandi to pray for me when God reminds me that I need to keep every thought captive and to meditate on the Truth. He also said that I don’t have time to be depressed with all the worship I lead so I need to pray and fight this. Know what I did? I prayed and praised Him and it helped! The thought’s didn’t completely leave until hours later in Acton when Rick prayed to open us before I led worship but I was a whole lot better while meditating on God’s truths. The truth is, no matter what man is or isn’t in my life, I am deeply loved by God. He loves me enough to be with me in my time of need in the middle of a work day. He loves me enough to put amazing people in my life who will pray for me and stand by me. He loves me soooo much that He gave me an amazing friend named Lindy to post something totally random on my Facebook that I would check and be reminded of an amazing time at a concert and the amazing blessings God has given to me. Then, on the way home from work, I get a very random text from a friend about my hair in his car. Random, yet funny. But anyways, God totally used a bunch of different ways to pull me out of a tailspin and back on the path to goodness.
The other amazeballs part of my day was when I was leading worship in Acton Rehab. I was still really really tired even though I was really looking forward to worshipping together so, on the car ride there, I prayed for myself and for Rick, the one teaching tonight, that we would both be energized and do a great job. It wasn’t until Rick had finished praying that I felt this huge surge of energy. It was like someone flipped the switched and I was super pumped and had all this energy and worship was fantastic! I was able to play 3 songs continuously, blending them all together to make this one amazing worship set! It wasn’t just me thinking it was amazing either! I heard from some others that they thought it was good. Regardless, I accomplished one of my goals tonight so that felt good and I felt really connected with the ladies and God while leading worship and that’s always a great experience.
Now, I’m home and wanting to send my worship set list with charts to my worship team, alas, the internet isn’t working. So, naturally, I decided writing a blog on my phone would be a better alternative to going to bed early. 😉 I know, I’m so brilliant!
Anyways, I’m going to try and get some sleep now. I’m looking forward to tomorrow. Work is going to be grand due to it being payroll Wednesday and after work is going to be awesome because I’ll be meeting some friends for sushi and drinks. Yay!!!
Peace, love, and thousands of kit kat bars!
PS, I wish I could hire my friend Corrie to live here and be my personal stylist so I can have great hair like in this picture every day!
Posted on January 22, 2013, in Uncategorized and tagged adoration, depression, emo, God, internet, joyful, keep every thought captive, love, praise, sad, sad panda, trust, work, worship. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.