Blog Archives

Eek! Only 20 days left… (20)

So, I haven’t been writing because, well, life got in the way. I wouldn’t trade the past few days for anything though.

There’s been some way crazy stuff happening but there’s been some really, really awesome stuff happening too! Hence, why I haven’t written.

I’m getting nervous for my birthday. Despite #alltheamazingthings that are coming up in the next 12-13 months, I’m still not ready to leave my twenties behind. I know that I’m still going to be me but that stupid 2 changing to a 3 seems to signify the end of my youth and the beginning of my adult life. As if now, I’m not allowed to silly or go on crazy adventures because that’s the sort of stuff that goes on in your twenties not your thirties.

I feel like a broken record and I don’t want to anymore. I am looking forward to going to San Fran for the dreaded day. I’ll be helping out/staying at the YWAM base there. By helping out, I mean that I’ll be tagging along with my friend who’s a missionary there and hoping to get to do some ministry. I also hope to meet up with some people from the #STARTexp if we can arrange it.

Today was a really positive day. Good things are happening. Good, crazy, amazing things are in the works. I’ll share when the time is right. For now, I’m off to sleep way past my bedtime.

Peace, love, and pumpkin spice lattes!
xxJenn

20130919-011213.jpg

Peace & <3 White Chocolate Mochas OR This Is Most Definitely Not Something Snarky (274)

As promised, I will not write something snarky here about how much I hate two little words “We’ll see,” especially when a simple “No freakin’ way” or “I don’t think so” would suffice.  Oh, crap.  I did it anyway.  Oh well.  My hatred of those two words stems from a long line of “we’ll see’s” that were dished out by my mom, my ex “friends,” and my ex boyfriends/guys who strung me along and made me crazy!  I’m pretty good at handling the truth. In fact, I prefer hearing the truth, no matter how painful it may be.  After all, a lie told to preserve feelings only ends up hurting those feelings even more when the lie is discovered.  I was told “We’ll see” by no less than 3 people today and I know at least one of them was being a big fat liar!  I’m going to give them all the benefit of doubt though because really, I could have just asked for further explanation from them.  Right?

 

Really, this is no one’s problem other than my own.  It all stems from my past baggage and my desire to have a clear answer even though, sometimes, a vague response is all one can offer.  Still, I’d much rather hear something like “I will think about it and get back to you” or “I might like to but I really don’t want to commit to anything.”  Oh well.  Snarky rant that I wasn’t going to do is now over.

 

 

In other news, I have amazing friends who are totally uplifting, loving, and generous.  My friend Roni and her dad diagnosed that my car, in fact, did not need brakes, only brake fluid. YAY!  Saved me lots of money on new brakes and I can now drive without feeling like I’m going to die.  That’s a great thing!

 

Today was also my first day back at work after two weeks off.  It was so hard to stay awake! Now, as tired as I am, I can’t go to sleep.  Blah!  So frustrating.  But tomorrow is another day and tomorrow night springs forth with an abundance of new possibilities.  One possibility, I go to work, stay awake all day, go to Acton and lead worship in a semi decent way, go to the gym, have food, pass out asleep.  Yup.  Sounds like a plan to me!  Maybe more sleep will make me less crazy and less cranky and more happy/content with my life? Worship always helps so I’m looking forward to that.  

 

Peace and ❤ white chocolate mochas,

Jenn

 

 

PS  This photo here sums up how I am when it comes to guys and probably one reason why I am still single:

Image

 

 

 

Oh the Weather Outside is Frightful, but My Heated Blanket is Sooooo Delightful! (294)

Image

 

 

The weather has been generally frightful lately.  It’s been cold and windy and annoying.  But there have been a few random days that have brought some rain so that was nice.  The rain always makes me think of being in Belfast and the amazing people I met there and hope to always remain friends with.  Two in particular, although I think our bond was truly forged when they came to America and we got to spend a summer/fall together.  John and Hannah will always be my favorite inhabitants of the UK (I say UK since they now both live outside of Belfast).  

 

I have seriously neglected this blog and, trust me, it has haunted me daily.  I’ve been so tired/busy/stressed/happy/confused/worn down that I haven’t had time.  Every time I thought of taking a moment to write, I would fall asleep.  Exciting huh?  I’m going to try to make a better effort now though, especially since I’ll be going on vacation soon.

 

Here’s a recap of stuff that’s happened:

  • Saw Ives the Band again (Yippee!!!) and got to talking to them after the show.  They gave Brandi, Crystal, and me free tee shirts and thanked us for being so supportive.  There’s a slight possibility that they also might come play at my church in the future but that’s not something I can really talk about yet.
  • Got into a slight fender bender but the guy never called me back and never contacted my insurance so I’m guessing I’ll never hear about it again.  Whatevs.  It wasn’t in my car (I was driving Brandi’s) so that complicated things a bit.  Everyone was fine.  I was going 5 mph when it happened.  Stupid L.A.
  • I’ve been working at my job now for almost 2 months and I still love the people and the company.  I’m beginning to know a bit of what we do and things are starting to make more sense.  I still feel lost at times but I’m now able to ask more intelligent questions to help me understand a bit more.  That’s really what I need to do my job well – understanding of the total process.  Hopefully things will get even easier and I’ll have even more clarity over the next 6 weeks.
  • I’m moving out of my condo and into my mom’s house temporarily.  Sigh… I just didn’t have enough time to find a roommate and all the one bedroom apartments in non-life-threatening areas are too much for me to afford right now.  Maybe if I’m lucky I’ll get some good raises in the next couple of months?  Or, more likely, maybe one of my friends or someone I know and like will want to rent an apartment with me.  Hopefully.  Otherwise, at this point, I might just end up being super poor and getting a one bedroom of my own.
  • I finished my weekly classes of VLI.  I’ve now just got two finals and some papers to write.  Yay!  I’ll probably end up getting my certificate in March after winter 2012 quarter is over.  I think next year I’m going to try and take classes to finish up my bachelors in English. We’ll see.

That’s about all that’s been going on.  I’ve been way too busy with ministry and studying and packing to really have a lot of fun.  My friend Crystal is back from Australia until the end of January so I plan on spending a lot of time with her.  Luckily, my company is pretty much shut down from 12/21/12 – 1/2/13 and my boss is letting me take time off through the 7th so I get a full two weeks off with no work!  Yay!  There will definitely be ice skating and movies and crocheting and reading and playing guitar involved.  

 

I’m going to Las Vegas for Christmas with my mom.  We’re meeting my brother there – he’s flying in from Montana for a few days.  I’m looking forward to hanging out with them.  I love my brother and love spending time with him.  We rarely get to see each other so it’s nice that the three of us will get to spend the holiday together.  We’re going to stay at the Mandalay Bay and see Jersey Boys.  That’s about all we have planned for now.  I plan on hitting the gym, relaxing in a bubble bath, reading a book, getting a massage/mani/pedi/facial aka spending too much money in a spa, and hopefully seeing some of the museums I have never seen in all my trips to Vegas.  

 

Now, since I’m exhausted, I’m going to go to sleep.  I’ve got many, many things to do tomorrow and I’m running on an average of 5 hours of sleep lately.  It’s not enough.  I’m definitely not 22 anymore – regardless of the fact that people tell me I still look 22.  I need my beauty sleep.  

 

Bon nuit mes amies!

 

~Jenn

 

You’re as Subtle as a Brick on the Small of My Back/ Breaking Dawn Part Two was awesome (326)

I’m beginning to think it might be a wee bit too lofty to assume I’ll be able to write every day so let’s all just be thankful I can find time to write at all.  The problem is, I get all these thoughts that I’d like to write down all at the wrong times! For example, at work, on the way to work, while cooking dinner, while studying, while reading, while driving, etc. When I finally get home at night and get a chance to write it all down, I’m so tired I can’t do anything more than lay down and go to sleep or numb my mind with a movie. In fact…

Sleep has been my extra curricular activity lately. Tuesday night I went to bed at 9:30pm and Wednesday I was asleep by 8:30pm. It kind of made me feel super old and boring to be honest. But at least I wasn’t super tired at work the following mornings. 

Then I kind of undid all my good deeds from sleeping so much by seeing the midnight showing of Breaking Dawn Part Two.  It was worth it though. It was a really good movie! It was also a great way to end the franchise. There’s a twist at the end of the movie that had me really pissed off while watching it but all was okay by the end of the movie.  I can see why the screen play writer wrote it like that.  I think it was a really good compliment to the book, especially since the book went in detail about peoples powers and we get to really experience Alice’s power in that scene and get a glimpse into how it must feel to live in her world. I don’t have any complaints about the movie except maybe baby Renesmee. That baby is super creepy. Okay and my second complaint would be getting more of the background of them hunting for an answer to how long Renesmee would live and getting to see more of Charlie. It was a bittersweet ending though.  I love the movies and the books so much that it’s hard to be happy that the past movie came out.  It’s the end of an era…albeit a good one. 

I thought it was fitting that the director chose to show all the main characters from all the movies in the end before the credits ran. Because really, no movie/book was a standalone. You needed to read them all and watch them all to get the full story and get closure.  This one might end up being my favorite of all the movies.  Possibly… I’ll make my decision I suppose after I see the other movies again and watch this one like 4 more times.  😉

I’ve been in a wrestling match with my emotions lately. While I like my job and the ministries I’m involved in, I’m not happy with other areas of my life and it’s making me kind of depressed which makes me more tired and not wanting to go out to see people and not want to be involved in life in general. If you’re reading this and know me personally, you might be shocked, idunno.  I’m not really sure what to do about what’s going on with me.  It’s not as if there’s a switch to turn off how I feel unless I started taking drugs and that’s not going to happen.  I know that drugs and alcohol don’t solve anything, they just hide the problem until you can no longer run from it or you end up dying.  I know I can pray about it, and I have been, it’s just not helping me right now. They’re all subtle feelings too that end up compounding into something much larger and more painful. I don’t even have a positive way to end this paragraph.  It’s interesting to think back on life when I’m feeling happy and when I’m feeling depressed and see how the picture changes.  When depressed, the past seems like I’ve been mostly sad and depressed and unhappy most of my life.  When I’m happy, it seems like I’ve just been hit with hard times here and there and some sad periods but mostly good and happy times.  Different perspectives are pretty crazy huh? The same life lived, viewed from different lenses, has many different interpretations.

image

All you need is love! Ba badadada! (336)

Really?! If so, I’m a wee bit screwed unless the Beatles were including God’s love. Then I guess I’m covered. Seems like everyone I meet nowadays is married or in a relationship and those I meet who aren’t either aren’t interested in me or I’m not interested in them. Sad face. Maybe it’s just because I’m getting old or maybe it’s because I haven’t been in a legit relationship since 2009 but I would really like to find a guy I could fall in love with. I’m not really sure I’m going to meet him in Lancaster. Le sigh…

Today was my first full day of working. I learned a bunch of stuff and really hope that I retain it all. I got super tired around 2:45pm with almost 2 hours left in the day which kinda sucked. I also had a migraine all day tho so that helped make me even more tired. It was a good day tho. Hopefully my boss thinks I’m doing a good job. I’m really trying my hardest to do the best I can.  I guess that’s all I can do.

Went to dinner and shopping with Brandi after work and had fun. Bought a new shirt, some tank tops for under my cardigans, a bra, a pair of teal jeans, a necklace, and 3 rings.  I hate a lot of the fashion out there right now. 80’s ugly clothes really aren’t my style.  I can’t wait till the hippy look is popular again with peasant tops and pretty florals rather than neon ugly crap. I’m so descriptive, I know.  I’m exhausted. Need sleep…

Love,
Zzzzz Zzzzz

image

Dustin Kensrue School Of Theology - #DKSOT

Christian Theology, Wisdom, and Inspiration from the Works of Dustin Kensrue

Worthily Magnify

Helping Worship Leaders Lead Well

Thought Catalog

Thought Catalog is a digital youth culture magazine dedicated to your stories and ideas.

The Mojave Foundation

Improving quality of life for citizens in Mojave

The Ugly Volvo

Attempts at Adulthood

a sight-specific extrovert

Hoping to touch a few lives and the world for God in a small way and have some fun doing it. I say a lot about some things and a little about others. Let's get cracking! - Jarrod

I Kissed My Date Goodnight

Embarking on motherhood through the miracle of adoption.

Improbable Dreamer

"I am and always will be the optimist, the hoper of far flung hopes and the dreamer of improbable dreams." Eleventh Doctor

Thusianzosan's Blog

Romans 12:1-2

Groovitude's Musings

Dreaming and thinking all the time.

Not Drinking Coffee

~stumbling through life in my own unhip way~

Heart Burn

hearts burning for the truth...

But Not Before Coffee

My quirky take on God, life, and what's really important. But not before coffee.

Matt on Not-WordPress

Stuff and things.

Ella Brooke Photography

Photograpy, design, & random thoughts.

City on a Hill(ing)

Apart from Christ and caffeine, I am nothing.

Reformedish

incompletely reformed thoughts on God, ministry, and life

Lauren's Weblog

Just another WordPress.com weblog